PokemonTrainerNaira

Glitch solved.

English only

I fucked up and deleted my most recent deviation because it was in the wrong folder (and in the correct one too) and when attempted to delete it only from the wrong one it got erased from the 2 folders... 

I lost all the description, which was... Long, so damn it...

But, the problem is, I cannot upload something just in one folder, there is one specific folder (my most used one) where all the new deviations I try to upload are sent to. And I cannot un-select it from the options while uploading so I tried moving the deviation afterwards, but no, it's impossible, it gets sent to the 2 folders, instead of just the one I want to... Super weird.

Damn, I had faves on that deviation... At least I didn't have any comment, but heck...

If you thought this was going to be about a significant other... You don't know me very well XD

Enough joking. Today I wanted to write about heartbreak. Not the kind you get for unrequited love, but the kind I'm feeling right now. I'm heartbroken about art. It's a feeling I've felt for many years, sometimes more hurtful than others, but lately, maybe because of the huge tiredness, I'm feeling even physically.

But, Naira, come on, chest pain? That's anxiety. If you think that you're right. I suffer from anxiety, too. But the thing is, it doesn't only appear when I think about achademical topics. My chest hurts, I feel pressure and I go out of breath when I think about the inability to draw. Hypothetical or real. For several reasons, I haven't drawn in a while. And, even if it's going to sound weird coming from a scientist like me, I feel the urge to do that embed deep in my soul. And I can't ignore it so easily now that it hurts me physically.

I usually refer to drawings from my friends as "drugs". I ask them for "drugs" regularly. Because I also am an artist,  and I know how it feels to create art and how it feels when someone shows interest in yours. I genuinely enjoy admiring art, but I can't help but feeling down. I feel insecure lately about my abilities in many fields, and art is no exception. I feel somewhat inferior to those who do pursue art, not necessarily as a career, but a hobby too. Lately I'm so tired I do little things in my scarce leissure time, let alone something that requires some sort of willpower as it's overcoming an artblock, which I believe I'm suffering from.

It's not the first time I've felt this way. And I want to believe that this feeling will fade away, once I feel less tired and more confident. But I wanted to leave it written somewhere, as a reminder for the future. 

This, too, shall pass. Esto también pasará.

English only (for now)

Happy 2018! I'll be concise:

In terms of drawing, this year has been one of the most productives for me! Even if I don't count unpublished WIPs that are on my sketchbook, I've drawn a lot in 2017 and I'm very proud. However, my latests drawings haven't received many views/faves/comments (on none at all) and I'm a little concious about that, to be honest.

About life, I'll start finals next week and I'm studying hard, and due to stress and some little anxiety (nothing major, but it is annoying) I feel unable to take a pencil and draw or even fold some cranes (and I really should make a lot of the latter). I will be satisfied if at least I pass all the subjects, nonetheless.

May 2018 will be as productive (or more!) artistically speaking.

Objetos clave

I'm redesigning an old character. Probably my oldest character. She wasn't even a character, just a drawing. But it comes to my mind every now and then and finally got the inspiration to give her more depth. I'm liking the redesign a lot, so far, I'll show it to you when I finish it. I'm undecided on the name, I'm looking for names of flowers, specifically blue flowers (if possible) in japanese. I do have a surname for her, though. She's so cute, you'll see her soon.

Edit: ... Or not.